Online Dating

11 08 2008

Any of you who have been or are on online dating sites have seen those pictures of the beautiful men and woman. You’ve also read all the fascinating profiles and probably though to yourself, “Wow, this person is perfect for me.” Have you figure out yet that most of what they write is nothing more than bait to hook you? Well most of it is just that.

My friend, we’ll call her Sally, met a guy through a dating site. His picture was, in fact, real. It was about a year old but it was him none the less. He hadn’t changed much since it was taken. They chatted, cammed, and emailed for about two weeks. He, in her mind, was Mr. Right. They had everything in common. After the two weeks of correspondence and chatting, they decided to meet. This was her happiest moment. He said all the right things and treated her like he really wanted her for the long term.

On the second date, he put the moves on her and told her that he loved her. She had already begun to fall for Mr. Wonderful. Well they wound up doing the wild thing and, oddly enough, continued seeing each other for about two months. During that time, it was all about the sex. When she asked him where he saw this relationship going, he stated, “I’m ready for a commitment but my kids aren’t.”

She was floored considering his kids are almost grown…16 and 18. She asked him if the kids even knew about her and he told her that he hadn’t discussed it with them. She asked, “If they don’t know about me, how do you know they’re not ready for a commitment?” He just shrugged and didn’t answer.

After that conversation, the daily IM’s stopped, the e-mails stopped, the phone calls stopped, and he only called her when he wanted to see her on that day. She went along with it only because she had fallen in love with him. After a few times of him calling and them meeting, and each time it was about the sex, she told him, “Enough.” She told him with tears in her eyes that she felt like she was nothing more than a “booty call”. He tried to deny it but it was true. She broke up with him and he actually called her a couple of weeks later and asked if she would meet him. She answer cheerily, “Sure, where are you taking me?” He answered, “Oh, I don’t have the time to actually take you out.” That was the end of that relationship. He was a player.

So my advice on these situations is:

Hold out. Don’t have sex until you know where the relationship is heading. If you put it all out there too soon, the man will lose interest in you. Men don’t like it to be too easy unless he’s a player, or just out for a one night stand. This particular man is and was a player.

I hope this will help some of you out there. I’ll keep posting my little stories about my friend’s and my own experiences daily. Keep checking back. Thanks for taking the time to read this.





Get Back with your Ex-Girlfriend

11 08 2008

ust lost your girl? Is there a sure-fire way to get an ex-girlfriend back? What are my chances if she seems intent on ignoring me? Well, it is not that hard if you think about it. If you have been panicky and hysterical about losing her, perhaps this short article can give you some useful insights.

The best way to go about it is to maintain your equanimity. Why? Because the more desperate you are, the more you are bound to commit mistakes that can make the situation irreparable. It is like the fish caught on a hook. The more you thrash about, the more the hook will sink in. So trust me on this one. Keep the faith.

There are two things you need NOT TO DO if you ever make the effort to win her back. Doing them will ruin your relationship with her, perhaps irretrievably. As a matter of fact, these two things make turn a bad situation into a much worse no-win situation. These are two common mistakes and people sometimes do them instinctively. There are other mistakes certainly but these two stand out.

1) Contacting her too often

This is the top mistake any guy can make. Gals are guilty of this mistakes as well. It is an almost universal human nature to call her several times over. This act of calling her persistently makes you appear as pestering her although you may not think so. It is the worst mistake anyone can make. If you are not getting any replies from her, it is time to stand back and re-assess everything.

2) Arguing whose fault it was

This is probably the most fatal and counterproductive thing that can happen to any relationship. Whether it was her fault or your fault is no longer relevant. The important thing is to get back into a relationship on sound footing again and forget about the past. Avoid any argument at all cost. If you think she give a weak reason for leaving you that you think is totally unreasonable, then do not talk about that aspect. Try to focus on the positive things that you had together. Your similar traits, for example. Your similar likes and dislikes, pet peeves, etc.

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