Any of you who have been or are on online dating sites have seen those pictures of the beautiful men and woman. You’ve also read all the fascinating profiles and probably though to yourself, “Wow, this person is perfect for me.” Have you figure out yet that most of what they write is nothing more than bait to hook you? Well most of it is just that.
My friend, we’ll call her Sally, met a guy through a dating site. His picture was, in fact, real. It was about a year old but it was him none the less. He hadn’t changed much since it was taken. They chatted, cammed, and emailed for about two weeks. He, in her mind, was Mr. Right. They had everything in common. After the two weeks of correspondence and chatting, they decided to meet. This was her happiest moment. He said all the right things and treated her like he really wanted her for the long term.
On the second date, he put the moves on her and told her that he loved her. She had already begun to fall for Mr. Wonderful. Well they wound up doing the wild thing and, oddly enough, continued seeing each other for about two months. During that time, it was all about the sex. When she asked him where he saw this relationship going, he stated, “I’m ready for a commitment but my kids aren’t.”
She was floored considering his kids are almost grown…16 and 18. She asked him if the kids even knew about her and he told her that he hadn’t discussed it with them. She asked, “If they don’t know about me, how do you know they’re not ready for a commitment?” He just shrugged and didn’t answer.
After that conversation, the daily IM’s stopped, the e-mails stopped, the phone calls stopped, and he only called her when he wanted to see her on that day. She went along with it only because she had fallen in love with him. After a few times of him calling and them meeting, and each time it was about the sex, she told him, “Enough.” She told him with tears in her eyes that she felt like she was nothing more than a “booty call”. He tried to deny it but it was true. She broke up with him and he actually called her a couple of weeks later and asked if she would meet him. She answer cheerily, “Sure, where are you taking me?” He answered, “Oh, I don’t have the time to actually take you out.” That was the end of that relationship. He was a player.
So my advice on these situations is:
Hold out. Don’t have sex until you know where the relationship is heading. If you put it all out there too soon, the man will lose interest in you. Men don’t like it to be too easy unless he’s a player, or just out for a one night stand. This particular man is and was a player.
I hope this will help some of you out there. I’ll keep posting my little stories about my friend’s and my own experiences daily. Keep checking back. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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